Being a Male Escort in Traditional and Conservative Australia
Using male escort services in ‘progressive’ Australia
The lucky country? Donald Horne wrote, “A lucky country”, and we idiots couldn’t even interpret that. Beer swilling, chauvinistic, patriarchal – defiantly traditional.
Welcome to down under. Welcome to your lucky country.
Seriously.
We’re a conservative, Victorian-era hangover suffering nation. We laughably and parochially consider ourselves progressive, with such arrogance from our little isolated view of how we think we shape up in the world. And, unfortunately, our national psyche and politics reflect this.
Even the motherland has moved well beyond its own Victorian-era hangover. Yet meanwhile, for some reason, the penal colony hangs on to it for dear life.
We all chase this idea of what life is supposed to look like. Society tells us this is what we want. And I got it in spades and it’s not what I wanted in the slightest because I ignored pretty much every part of who I am. But it’s never too late and you’ve helped me realise that too.– Client
Tall poppy syndrome, male escort services, and Australia as the so-called ‘lucky country’
Australia – the land where the tall poppy syndrome, self-righteous judgement and cutting down of others around us run rife. I get this directed toward myself regularly as a male escort, and my clients and those prospectively considering calling upon the services of a male escort will no doubt be influenced by these ‘lucky Aussie values’.
These ‘Aussie values’ contribute significantly to physically- and emotionally-abusive and/or neglectful spouses in so-called ‘partnerships’. Partnerships born of long-term toxic relationships where we got married and made far too important life-determining decisions far too early. Even before we even had an inkling of who we are/were. And all because traditional societal pressures overwhelmed us to do so, and as quickly as possible. We eagerly sought validation, acceptance, the illusion of settlement and security.
And sadly, there’s hell to pay hence.
I’ve seen it happen every time there’s a marriage breakdown. It’s the woman that leaves town. Always. Because they are made out to be the problem in every circumstance. I fully expect this to happen to me.
– Client
The Male Escort Solution
And what’s the solution? To suck it up? Do penance? Keep calm and carry on? Keep doing the ‘right thing’ by an asshole of a partner?
We seem to keep forgetting that we are no good to others (partners and children first and foremost included) if we are not at first good to ourselves.
But… a lifetime, or even half a lifetime, of paying for a poor decision made far too early is undoubtedly hard to shake. Our brains have a way of getting ‘stuck’ in old ways of thinking that don’t serve us (and have never actually served us). Classically conservative (and no doubt incredibly dark) self-talk such as ‘I don’t deserve better’, ‘Who else will have me’, ‘Too late to leave now’, ‘It’s too hard to leave now’, and ‘Who am I kidding?’ is sadly far too common.
This is simply and utterly devastating.
Everything in society and life tells you that you shouldn’t get to experience things like this. Or maybe just once to treat yourself but then quick, get back in your box. So glad I was able to get past all that.
– Client
Males escort services in modern, ‘progressive’ Australia
There is a strong influence from a certain generation before us that suffered the great depression – values of scarcity, survival, ‘good enough’ (or actually not even good enough) still seep through to today’s modern progressive Australia and prompt us to get back in our box. Well, fuck that.
How sad and unfortunate.
We only get one chance at life. And based on the understanding of this fact, it’s never too late to start putting yourself first.
We all chase this idea of what life is supposed to look like. Society tells us this is what we want. And I got it in spades and it’s not what I wanted in the slightest because I ignored pretty much every part of who I am. But it’s never too late and you’ve helped me realise that too.
– Client
Let the women using male escort services speak
As I’ve shared with you with a compilation of some ‘quote nuggets’ from clients of mine who nailed this for me. These are comprised of both city and country/rural perspectives, and they really hit home for me in my experiences as a male escort.
My mind just went to all those farming functions I go to. One in particular, an agricultural agency dinner thing last year before I met you. I was standing there all dressed up looking half nice, I guess. Husband there and the kids all dressed very nicely. I thought to myself, ‘I’ve got a husband, kids, a beautiful house and enough money that I never need to worry much’. This is the life that women supposedly want. Why do I feel so bloody isolated and lonely? Interesting that you can have a moment where you think that you seemingly have it all, yet you’ve really got nothing. That moment was so very confronting.
– Client
And as one client said, “Using a male escort – it’s like the best parts of a relationship without all the shit parts… things like expectations.”
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