Can You Tell an Escort More than a Normal Partner?
Can you be more honest with a registered escort?
Last month, I wrote about the whole concept of safety versus danger. And it got me thinking about whether the unique and paid arrangement of the client-escort dynamic can in fact encourage and beckon more honesty and more openness, and more quickly.
One of the many (yes, many) things I love most about my job is the confidence that I feel clients place in me—and quite quickly following the first time we meet.
Many jokingly say that I act a little bit like a therapist or counselor. And while I in no way claim or would even pretend to emulate one, I must confess that I rather like (or in fact love) to sense some of the truth that may lie behind this joke.
I guess we could safely say that the facts are, if I may, as follows:
- They don’t know me
- I don’t know them
- There are no legacy or age-old, pre-conceived notions that you get from a parent, or a best friend, or indeed a real-life partner
- I’m not connected to them or their lives and their circle in any way—I don’t know their family, friends, work or business peers for instance
And perhaps like a therapist (who is typically unknown to a client before meeting them through a paid/professional booking), I’m able to listen, be present and do so in the most objective way possible—and be there entirely for them.
On this basis, I tend to wonder whether most clients (or even prospective clients for that matter) might tend to feel they can divulge more, and more freely, more easily and indeed more quickly, than say, to their partner (or any partner) or to a person on a first date or even someone they would consider to be ‘dating’.
I make no excuse for the fact that much of the world—that is, the conservative world—cannot and will not ever get their head around why some people might, could, would nor should ever seek the services of a registered escort.
To them it feels wrong, fake, not normal and opposite to their notion of reality. And I always genuinely enjoy respectfully debating this thinking—even if for nothing more than fun.
For example, you can’t (and won’t) ever be able to tell your partner, or the person you’re dating, or your best friend, or your peers and colleagues or indeed your mother and father everything. In these traditional and conventional relationships we do, to a large extent, act and pretend. It’s human nature and I must confess that I have done the same (and will likely continue to do it to some extent, inevitably in the future).
It is human nature. And I don’t challenge this for a second.
But, surely there’s a place—indeed, an equally human place—for that arranged and anonymous setting where all the requirements, reasons and motivations for feeling compelled to ‘act’ are thrown out the window? And surely, there is a very real and present need, a human need to be able to do this? For the same therapeutic and/or cathartic reasons we see a therapist or a medical professional.
We all need something, somewhere and someone, at least sometimes, to be able to let go of everything—and perhaps if nothing other than so that we can maintain our act where we need to in life—for ultimate example as a partner, a parent or a business associate or work colleague.
We are only after all, brutally human.
Some anonymous thoughts from a client on the matter:
Avoidant Detachment. Something I was told by a psychologist that I was grappling with as an adult. The ability to go through my entire life avoidant of any kind of real emotional connection. Instead remaining detached, even during sexual encounters, not even willing to kiss men hardly at all.
I think perhaps I am the ultimate example of how an escort such as Lucius can breach emotional barriers. I had no reason to put up my walls of avoidant detachment as I was in complete control of this arrangement. I could and I did talk to Lucius about anything and everything in my life. He awakened a deeply human part of me that I’d never allowed before and through this came epic escape, release and a side to myself I didn’t know existed. Which I could then take back to my everyday reality. It’s amazing the effect this has had on my life. Almost indescribable.
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