From Boardrooms to Bedrooms: Exploring the move from marketing to male escorting with Adelaide FM
Spicy – that’s the best way to describe chatting with Adelaide’s 107.1 SAFM morning crew about my career (AKA what it’s like to be a male escort)…
Abby: Ooooh we haven’t done this for a while! This is where we have someone on the show about something that is a little bit out of the ordinary or from a different profession – which it is in this case – and you can ask them anything you like.
Matt: Now when you’re thinking up your questions folks, keep in mind that this person has put their hand up and said, ‘You can ask me absolutely anything – nothing’s off limits, you can’t offend me’. This is all about learning about them.
And that person is Lucius who is a male escort. Morning Lucius!
Lucius: Good morning crew and good morning Brisbane!
‘So what’s it like to be… a professional male escort?’
Lehmo: When you’re spending time with clients, what are the kinds and types of things you’ll do?
Lucius: It all depends on what the client needs! The thing is, clients are very varied in what they need and ask for at that certain time based on their circumstances and situation. So it’s obviously… intimacy is a huge part of this job but it’s not entirely all of the job.
I just want to make that point clear because I think there’s a lot of misconception around what escorting means – as well as around the range of different escorts. Whether you’re male, female, trans, non-binary… that business – that escort’s client base – will be very much based on that individual escort and how they are in themselves. And so I guess in speaking for myself I can say intimacy is a big part of it but it’s not always entirely…
Bec: I’m always fascinated when I think about people entering this business – both males and females – what the first client experience is like-
Cosi/Lehmo: Oh yeah, good question!
Bec: -the first time you have sex for money.
Cosi: Yeah run us through it!
Lucius: Very good question… I’ll run the context like this, Bec… I’m a pretty non-conventional/non-traditional guy, and I never really sought to get married or have a family or anything like that. And so as you can probably imagine, I spent a lot of my personal time dating…
Bec: So you knew you were good; you knew you had the skills…
Lucius: Well – I knew I liked it, put it that way! (laughs from panel). I knew I liked it and knew I had a strong passion for it. I’ve always loved giving pleasure, pleasing people, to an extent… so the funny thing was, as nerve-wracking as it was, it transpired that it didn’t feel particularly unfamiliar.
And the thing is, whether it’s paid or unpaid, the client wants and needs it to be as authentic and as real as possible. So basically it’s a case of me being my authentic self, to the fullest extent – you know, being that pleasure giver, that lover of all things intimacy, and taking care of a person.
So yes, it was very familiar.
If I was out of town and my wife wanted to hire your services for a weekend here in Adelaide…
Lehmo: Mate let’s talk cash – cashola if we can and that’s OK?
Let’s say I was out of town and my wife was wanting to hire your services for a weekend here in Adelaide – what would it cost to get you down here for the two days and keep her company and do what you usually do?
Lucius: Yeah, sure. So a weekend, 48 hours, that would be $12,000 – and now if I travel, the travel time has to be incorporated in the fee. So, for example, if I see a regional client in NSW, the hours billed (or the package taken) has to include the travel and transiting.
Lehmo: $12,000?! Well done, I’m giving to her for free! (loud laughs from panel). Aren’t I the fool!
Cosi: You idiot! (more laughter)
But what if you find them a real turn-off?
Cosi: Lucius, what if you see a client and you don’t feel any attraction towards that client?
Or what if, even further than that, you find them to be rude or a real turn-off in one way or another?
Lucius: That’s a really good question and there’s a couple of things I need to address to answer that.
First of all, I do my best to pre-vet, right? And that’s not just for my sake but also very much for their sake, too. Two people won’t always connect well – and I’m not saying it’s only about them not being attractive or whatever – I’ve got to work it for them, too!
So… phone call, email – you can generally get about 60% to 70% of the way there in terms of ‘am I going to be able to help them? Is this going to be beneficial for them and worthwhile on all those levels for them?‘ So you do your best to pre-vet for both parties’ sake.
Then, once you’re in the event, so to speak, I’ve never been one who is purely attracted to one type of thing – or just physicality. There are myriads of levels of attraction and I usually find – in fact, I’ve always found (so far) that there’s always something; some piece of connection that has made the experience great.
And I guess that, without being able
to speak for other escorts, I don’t
think I’d be able to do this job if my own personal layers of attraction weren’t wired this way…
Adelaide wants to know… do you kiss?
Lehmo: Have you had a ‘Pretty Woman’ moment yet? Where a really rich client has said ,‘hey – I’m gonna get you out of this’?
Lucius: (grinning) No-
Bec: -oh, but speaking of Pretty Woman… do you kiss?
Cosi: Oooh good question.
Lucius: Great question! Yes – I think Pretty Woman and Hollywood have ruined that misconception for everyone as a lot of clients actually ask that. So yes – we do kiss, absolutely.
Cosi: Mate has there ever been a request where you’ve gone, ‘Oh no no no – I’m sorry but I ain’t doing that’? And what was it? (laughs from panel)
Lucius: Not yet… in my experience, and in the way I am as a person and as an escort and in my business, there hasn’t been an instance or a request that is that ridiculous!
To be confirmed – you’ll have to have me back guys…
Why do women prefer a male escort over your average hookup?
Lehmo: What do you reckon is the main reason people come to you?
You know – there are so many dating sites and so many options online for people to have dates with people, meet people, hook up… why are they going to you?
Lucius: That’s an awesome question and something I could talk about for hours! It’s something I’m really passionate about – I honestly think, as a single person, with the plethora of dating apps and all these things at your fingertips, you can be a real armchair warrior.
We’re sitting there in PJ’s with a cup of tea, swiping left and right, but we’ve ended up being like kids in a lolly store, spoilt for choice. We’ve made ourselves sick. And as a result, our social etiquette has been affected to the point where lots of people are having really bad experiences.
Enter a paid service, which can take away a lot of the pain around trying to make something happen. So just on the surface, why pay when you’ve got all these things available?
We’re going through a phase where I think it’s all quite problematic.
In terms of the drivers – the emotional, human drivers behind why someone would pay for this – there are four categories I often talk about:
One – they’re in a relationship and there’s an element of neglect or they’re being ignored, or it’s just fizzled out in that regard and because they’re married they don’t want to get on the apps and they don’t want to blow their cover.
Two – there are instances when they’re, you know, like really busy and after a no-fuss encounter, whatever that might mean for them in terms of what they desire.
Or they might have been married, had kids and have been through all that and they’re like, ‘I’m now done with that part’ and I just need it to be convenient.
And then, of course, there are elements of people who have suffered trauma. Maybe some haven’t had intimacy for a long time and there might be some psychological barriers there, and maybe they want to use a paid service to, for want of a better term, ‘get back in the game’.
And just how busy is work as a male escort?
Lehmo: At sort of, $6k a pop say – how busy are you? How booked out are you in the next few months?
Lucius: So I’ve got bookings for over the next two months in advance with my regular clients. And I’m mostly booked for 12- and 24-hour bookings and they generally include an element of travel within them, unless they’re local. So yes, I have bookings in for the next two months and that’s a great way, I think, to do and run a business.
My clients are all incredibly busy and have families, so they need to know that I’m available and that a certain date and time that they have availability for is going to happen – and that I’m not going to call them the night before and say, ‘I don’t feel like it’ or ‘something’s come up’.
Let’s talk about married women having affairs with male escorts…
Cosi: Are some of your clients having affairs, and, how does it feel knowing that the husband is out there somewhere and doesn’t know you’re popping in?
Lucius: That’s a really fair question, and any human with any ounce of empathy and consideration would feel this. But…
Here’s the thing about the female species – they don’t cheat when things are going well, generally, unlike perhaps a different type of species.
Things are generally problematic – it might have been a long marriage, a long partnership and life has happened, and there are often, like I said before, levels and elements of abuse in whatever form their own circumstance takes – neglect, ignoring, fizzled out.
And so they’re not having a fling because things are going well – that’s generally my experience.
It’s illicit and risqué – but that’s not why women choose to see an escort on the regular…
Bec: Now, we’ve got you on a Zoom here Lucius and I just wanna say – you’re not what I expected you to look like. Is it OK for me to say that?
I’m gonna’ describe you: you’re bald, you’ve got a salt and pepper beard, and you wear glasses. I DO find you handsome-
Cosi: -oooh ello! (loud laughs from panel)
Bec: -but you’re just not how I pictured! I pictured kind of like a Mills and Boon….
Lehmo: Ooooh – like a Fabio?
Bec: Like a Fabio!
Cosi: Yeah with the long hair!
Bec: Yeah! You’re not what I pictured – do people say that to you?
Lucius: They do! Getting back to that ‘Pretty Woman’ question… I think Hollywood and various kinds of film entities have painted that kind of picture so whether it’s a male escort – or a female, trans, or non-binary escort – that’s generally what you imagine.
It’s illicit, it’s risqué. But what I’ve found – I mean by way of how you describe me, Bec – is proof that there is indeed a market beyond that. Especially when we’re talking about people that have, to a large extent, suffered a traditional life or traditional relationships.
Think about a woman who’s been in service mode most of her life – that ‘Mills and Boon’ type is going to be an encounter, and probably a one-off. Whereas in my business – there are those but the bread and butter is in the connection building and the longevity.
How useful is a once-off to somebody? It might do a thing for a few days or a few weeks maybe, but you know – as the red-blooded beings that we are, and the connection seekers that we biologically are (and need), it very much suits the way you’ve described me.
Cosi: You, aaah… you mention longevity there. Two questions for you: what’s been your single longest booking, cause I notice you offer a weekend package and then some ‘add on’ days?
Lucius: I haven’t yet been booked for longer than a weekend, so 48 hours.
Cosi: So your most regular client – how many times would you have seen them?
Lucius: Good question – I’m just trying to quantify it but we started seeing each other in November, and the frequency/the incidence has kind of slowly progressed or built to the sort of regularity that it is now. I’m very bad at maths and that’s why I’ve become an escort (loud laughs from panel).
And Adelaide’s winner of the most bizzare question about escorting is…
Lehmo: Do you ever get an enquiry (and this happens sometimes in our line of business here when someone asks me to host a show or something) and I can’t do it ’cause I have a mate’s wedding or something? Do you ever handball it off to another mate? (panel laughs)
Lucius: Hehehe, um, no is the short answer.
It’s funny – I understand that in the women escorting community they kind of, from what I’ve been told, operate in that way – they’re very supportive of each other, they talk and they share stories and opportunities. Whereas the men, as far as I can see, don’t operate like that. They’re a little more ‘lone wolf’.
So… australiamaleescort.com.au?
Bec: Well, what a fascinating chat – thank you so much, we had soooo many questions and you’re clearly a good conversationalist! Which is part of the service, I imagine, for at least the first five minutes-
Cosi: -haha, speak for yourself Bec, speak for yourself! (loud laughs)
Bec: So thank you so much – for ‘What’s it like to be: A Male Escort’. Thank you to Lucius – if you want to find Lucius – australiamaleescort.com.au is the website.
Lehmo: Bec pretends she doesn’t know the website… Thank you Lucius!
Bec: Thank you so much for being so open!
Cosi: Thanks Lucius!
Lucius: My pleasure guys, cheers!
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